Elia Grace: Psychic Ninja Girl

Morning all!

I’m starting to get a little fazed by all these long, sunny days and hot, sticky nights. I try to carry out most of my training at night whilst my parents are asleep, but I’m finding it so hot in my crib at the moment that I can’t focus properly. Last night was the first night all week that I managed to change the television channel again, and my ninja grabbing styles are weaker due to my sweaty palms. Mirtin was mumbling something about rampant efreet the other day, while we were watching my dad working on the computer and listening to Muse’s ‘Absolution’ and The Go! Team, but he didn’t care to elaborate further. I’m starting to get the impression that the little webscamp knows much more about the going’s on in the otherworld than he passes on to me, and it’s starting to get irritating. Either that, or the heat’s starting to make me short-tempered!

At least the rugby was entertaining last night! I’ve never been to France or Argentina obviously, since I’m still only five weeks old (duh!), but mum and dad have been to both and they seemed pretty convinced that the result was great! All I knew was that the French made too many mistakes; that Hernandez’s high kicks unsettled the opposing backs and gave the Argentine back line more space later in the game, and that the referee missed loads of forward passes from Les Bluuurgh! I’m just getting anxious to see my first rugby match with my own eyes, but Redruth don’t play at home for another three weeks. Grrr…

I managed my first patrol around Truro on Monday, and met a whole host of friendly new fairies and trolls, but saw no sign of any pixies anywhere. I’ll probably go back this week and roam around the back streets a little more, just to check, but until then I’ll just have to keep up my ninja training.

Right: how did that overhead spinning kestrel kick go again…?

My meeting with Long Nat Han had left me desperate to prove myself, and I was keener than ever to test my skills in the big, wide otherworld. Unfortunately, fate conspired to keep me from an early acquaintance with my destiny and revealed my first ninja weakness: spicy food. A particularly potent batch of chilli-flavoured milk left my stomach feeling like a cement-mixer full of sulphuric acid, and soon enough my other end was feeling the worst of the effects as well. Incapacitated by my disobedient derriere, I was left bed-bound to morosely dwell on my failure to have yet gone out and combatted the evils of the world. My parents weren’t too impressed by my projectile poo either, especially after I managed to spray my father across his left leg whilst changing me!

I’m back on my feet (while my parents are watching!) now though, and the time off from my ninja exercises at least allowed me to concentrate on my psychic skills. My connection to my parents is as strong as ever, although I seem to be a long way off from direct suggestions as yet, but I still can’t read anyone else particularly well. I can, however, sense anyone approach now, especially Mirtin with his busy little brain constantly whirring at a rate of knots.

One power I did manage to test was more interesting, though. When my parents had gently snoozed off into their usual dreamlands on Wednesday night, they left the television on by accident. I too wished to have a doze at that point, but the noisy film at the time stopped me from resting properly. It was winding me up, and I was about to start crying in that annoying baby manner that I can’t seem to instinctively shake off, when the channel suddenly flicked over. Surprised, I started concentrating on the screen from my cot, seeing if I could do it again, and BAM! it flicked over once more! Great, I thought: now I can watch what I want when they’re not awake. It’s surprising how entertaining stupid people can be when they call into late-night phone competitions…

Just my luck I couldn’t turn the TV off though. Still, that’ll be on my to-do list of psychic ninja skills!